Family, righteous living vital to Nancy Huynh

By Camille Tuutti-Winkler

Nancy Huynh is on her way to the Vietnamese Buddhist temple she regularly visits. Before getting into her car to drive from her house in Beltsville, Va., to the temple in Silver Spring, Md., she does a double take to ensure she has everything:

Her children Austin and Amber and niece Amanda? Check.

A bag of peanuts to satisfy a mid-afternoon snack attack? Check.

A bowl of sticky rice to eat on the way there? Check.

Money to donate to the temple nuns? Check.

And then there is one more thing: Hershey and Brownie, her chihuahuas.

“Wherever I go, they go,” Huynh said about the trembling miniature dogs she never lets out of her sight. “I sneak them into places where you’re not allowed to have dogs, like Wal-Mart and Costco.”

Photo by Camille Tuutti-Winkler
One of Nancy Huynh’s beloved chihuahuas takes his usual honored position as she prepares to drive from Northern Virginia to her temple in Silver Spring, Md.

Steering her Toyota Sienna down the Beltway, the two lie dutifully and quietly on her lap, lifting their apple-domed heads whenever morsels of peanut shells fall from Huynh’s hands from cracking the nuts open.

Twice a month, when there is a full moon, Huynh favors a vegetarian diet and abstains from eating meat to honor her Buddhist beliefs that encourage compassion for humans and animals.

“I don’t want my kids to eat meat,” she said. “I want to take them to a slaughterhouse so they know what goes on there. Maybe that will make them stop eating meat.”

Buddhism does not require followers to be vegetarians but many chose to eat a plant-based diet because they believe all life forms are sacred, said Vien Hue, a nun at the Vien An Tu temple Huynh and her family visit. A nun for 20 years, Hue teaches a “Fundamentals of Buddhism” class every Sunday to students who want to learn about the teaching of Buddha. Hue said she has about 70 students and six Americans who come to the temple to learn Vietnamese and how to meditate. Every morning, she awakes well before the sun has risen to have breakfast, pray, relax, and educate her students on the Dharma– the teachings of the Buddha that lead to enlightenment.

Photo by Camille Tuutti.
Nancy Huynh at her home.

Sitting in the kitchen area with her legs folded underneath her and with her saffron-hued clothing, shaved hair and luminous smile, Hue does not look much different from the statues and pictures of the Enlightened One that decorate the interior of the temple.

“I would look weird wearing regular clothes,” Hue said and gave one of her trademark smiles. When she saw one of the chihuahuas, she asked one of the kids who was holding the dog to come closer. Ever so gently, Hue turned to Hershey and spoke softly to him, as if she were speaking to a human

“She said wished him a good life and said she hoped he would be a human in his next,” Huynh whispered.

In addition to her teaching job, Hue also visits funeral and nursing homes to offer emotional support and she counsels troubled families.

“I would like to continue teaching about Vietnamese traditions, culture and customs,” she said about her future plans. “That’s my job.”

In the back of the building, Huynh held tightly onto Hershey and Brownie while she and the children kneeled in front of an altar decorated with artificial flowers and fresh fruits, Buddha statues and lotus flowers in all colors and intricately adorned religious artifacts. With the exception of the soft, atmospheric music coming from the altar, everything was very still.

Photo by Camille Tuutti-Winkler.

After the short prayer and before leaving, Huynh bought two containers of mi can khia and cat tuong niem, both vegetarian dishes made with tofu and seitan. Although seasoned with exotic herbs and having generous shavings of ginger, the food tasted more savory than spicy.

Back in her car, Huynh talked about the main dissimilarities between Vietnamese and American families, and said that what differs the most are how Asian families function and how children are raised.

“Vietnamese families always stick together, no matter what,” Huynh said. “We would never put our parents in nursing homes. It starts early with raising your kids. We teach them step by step, like how to respect your elders and how you can never say no to your parents.” While some American kids curse and listen to inappropriate music and use the F-word, Vietnamese kids are not allowed to do so, Huynh said.

“We don’t let our kids do anything violent,” she said. “And the way they talk is also important. They cannot just say, ‘Bye, Mom!’ and just take off. No, they have to say, ‘Dear Mom, I have to go to school now’.”

While respecting your elders and always taking care of one’s family is essential to the Vietnamese family, the most important thing a parent can do is to be a good role model, Huynh said.

“Kids follow your footsteps, and you have to walk the right path,” she said. “What are you going to do when you kid comes up to you and says, ‘Why can’t I drink [alcohol] if you do?’”

Huynh said she recognized that many may think that being so closely-knit would cause problems and conflicts when displays of anger of frustration are not allowed. In a Vietnamese family, what would happen in the case of, say, a mean mother-in-law?

“You have to find a way to make her love you,” Huynh said. “The way we see it, without the mother-in-law, there would be no husband, so you have to accept her behavior. We suffer until we close our eyes, and then think of what we have done in a previous life to deserve a mother-in-law like that.”

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